Yes, I know I wrote to you already and publicly declared my infatuation. You’re a Cardinal; I like you. But I’m just having trouble really liking you, if you know what I mean.
It’s your past — the fact you were a Cub for five-and-a-half seasons. That’s a big hurdle for me to overcome. Yes, I know I hated Lance Berkman when he was an Astro and very quickly embraced him as a Cardinal. But that’s different. I hated him for what he did against the Cardinals, for the success he always had. His production is what annoyed me. Well, those people in puma costumes too. (Hopefully they’re gone now.) But you’re different. I hated the uniform you wore, the teams you were on, your managers, your teammates, everything about you (including The Riot as a nickname. Come on — be creative!) That’s a lot more baggage to deal with.
Yeah, I know the Cubs traded you away because they had no use for you. That should garner my sympathy at the very least. And, of course, there’s the “right side of the rivalry” thing you said, which got my attention. I will be your biggest fan to all the obnoxious Cub people in my life when May 10 arrives — and mean it. Truthfully, I am trying to love you. I really, really am.
So I’ll look past the spring training numbers (because, as you said, they’re not on the back of anyone’s baseball card), the weirdness of seeing you in a Cards uniform, the tight pants and even that horrible picture from Facebook and mockery from Cubs fans. Ryan, I will love you — I promise.
Just give me a little more time.
Christine Coleman is the lead writer for Aaron Milesâ€™ Fastball. Follow her on Twitter, @CColeman802, or e-mail email@example.com. Also follow @AMilesFastball for the latest updates.