Tonight’s game thread was written by Aerys Sports’ Cubs reporter, Julie DiCaro. You can find Christine’s game thread over at Julie’s site, A League Of Her Own.
Oh hello, “Best Fans In Baseball.” What an honor it is to be preparing your game thread for tonight. Will you be favoring us with the wave this evening? I guess we’ll find out later.
I suppose you’re feeling pretty good about yourselves, sitting up at the top of the division 8 games ahead of us. As well you should. Once again, you are in first place and the Cubs are trying to stay out of the basement. But let me warn you, the Cubs have led the major leagues in one area this season.
Having players injured in freak accidents.
Oh yes. Tyler Colvin takes a shard of broken bat to his chest, which punctures his lung (okay, Â that was last season), Marlon Byrd takes a fastball to the face, breaking multiple bones. Aramis Ramirez dives for a screaming grounder, which takes a bad hop and catches him in the lip. Andrew Cashner pitches a brilliant game and, with no apparent injury, walks off the mound an onto the 60-day DL. Â Obliques and groins have run amok. Forearms have been tight. Shoulders have been loose.
I think you see where I’m going.
I wouldn’t dig in there up at the plate. Can’t envision a scenario where a fastball knocks our catcher unconscious and then ricochets up and breaks your hitter’s nose? I can. Think it’s nuts that your runner could slide hard into second and our infielder accidentally slits the bag open with his cleats, spilling ball-bearings everywhere and causing your runner to slide straight into the outfield wall? I don’t. Â Have you ever seen a man’s groin come flying out of his thigh and hit one of your players in the eye, blinding him for life? You just may yet.
Enjoy the game.
Our extremely-fragile and injury-prone lineup will be this:
- Fukudome RF
- Barney 2B
- Castro SS
- Soto C
- PeÃ±a 1B
- MontaÃ±ez LF
- Colvin CF
- LeMahieu 3B
- Dempster P
You may think this looks like a Spring Training lineup–and you would be right. But we can’t afford to lose anymore players. Everyone who is healthy and worth anything must remain safely tucked away on the bench, behind a layer of protective glass.
Goodnight and good luck. And don’t say I didn’t warn you. . . .