Live Game Thread: Welcome To Our Nightmare

Tonight’s game thread was written by Aerys Sports’ Cubs reporter, Julie DiCaro. You can find Christine’s game thread over at Julie’s site, A League Of Her Own.

Oh hello, “Best Fans In Baseball.” What an honor it is to be preparing your game thread for tonight. Will you be favoring us with the wave this evening? I guess we’ll find out later.

I suppose you’re feeling pretty good about yourselves, sitting up at the top of the division 8 games ahead of us. As well you should. Once again, you are in first place and the Cubs are trying to stay out of the basement. But let me warn you, the Cubs have led the major leagues in one area this season.

Having players injured in freak accidents.

Oh yes. Tyler Colvin takes a shard of broken bat to his chest, which punctures his lung (okay,  that was last season), Marlon Byrd takes a fastball to the face, breaking multiple bones. Aramis Ramirez dives for a screaming grounder, which takes a bad hop and catches him in the lip. Andrew Cashner pitches a brilliant game and, with no apparent injury, walks off the mound an onto the 60-day DL.  Obliques and groins have run amok. Forearms have been tight. Shoulders have been loose.

I guess my point is that,when when people attract injuries the way the Cubs do, other people are often hurt as a by-product. Bystanders. Onlookers. Opposing players.

I think you see where I’m going.

I wouldn’t dig in there up at the plate. Can’t envision a scenario where a fastball knocks our catcher unconscious and then ricochets up and breaks your hitter’s nose? I can. Think it’s nuts that your runner could slide hard into second and our infielder accidentally slits the bag open with his cleats, spilling ball-bearings everywhere and causing your runner to slide straight into the outfield wall? I don’t.  Have you ever seen a man’s groin come flying out of his thigh and hit one of your players in the eye, blinding him for life? You just may yet.

Enjoy the game.

Our extremely-fragile and injury-prone lineup will be this:

  1. Fukudome RF
  2. Barney 2B
  3. Castro SS
  4. Soto C
  5. Peña 1B
  6. Montañez LF
  7. Colvin CF
  8. LeMahieu 3B
  9. Dempster P

You may think this looks like a Spring Training lineup–and you would be right. But we can’t afford to lose anymore players. Everyone who is healthy and worth anything must remain safely tucked away on the bench, behind a layer of protective glass.

Goodnight and good luck. And don’t say I didn’t warn you. . . .

216 thoughts on “Live Game Thread: Welcome To Our Nightmare

  1. What? No mention of Ryan Theriot?? Julie, I’m so disappointed.

    And, by the way, RYAN THERIOT HAS A 16-GAME HITTING STREAK!

    Also, the Cards lineup:
    Theriot SS
    Jay LF
    Pujols 1B
    Berkman RF
    Molina C
    Rasmus CF
    Schumaker 2B
    Descalso 3B
    Garcia P

  2. If there’s one thing I hope the Cubs can do tonight, it’s snap that hitting streak. Maybe 3-4 HBP and a WAG?

      • I like Al as long as he remembers when to stop. Hey Chris I bet the Cub announcers were not as happy about the LB home run What I don’t like is all the extra people in the booth talking about events for the inning

    • I don’t care what TheRiot does, he doesn’t merit a “booya.” He could go 6-for-6, hit for the cycle with 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, STILL no “booya.”

  3. i’m getting tired of hearing about Buster Posey, already (WGN). Frankly, it was his own fault for not having his footwork correct.

  4. Hooray! Perfect game, no-hitter and shutout gone! That’s the most we can hope for, I’m afraid.

        • I knew he was going to be a good player when he survived a season on my fantasy team without going to the DL. I had so many injuries that season, my best outfielder was Sammy Sosa — Texas Rangers edition (24th-round pick!)

            • Yes, it was. He actually had 21 HR that season, and it seems he was better than I remembered with an OPS+ of 101. The big problem was his .311 OBP. (This was a league with 9 hitting categories and 9 pitching categories, as well as 20 teams with 25-man rosters. And it was my first season playing fantasy baseball.)

  5. It’s the 25th anniversary of Ferris Buller’s Day Off? OMG, I’m old.

    (There is some contest they were promoting on WGN, just so that comment doesn’t sound completely random.)

      • i hope not, he started to tire, it’s early in season, and it looks like he’s gonna have to be the workhorse down the stretch, and, hopefully, into the playoffs. if he had a shutout going i might let him start the inning and see, but not now.

  6. Okay, so this is the Cardinals fansite. Not what I expected-thought it would be little more erudite and less “booya”. Bye-Bye now….

    • Can’t comment on the booya — not me.

      However, had Miguel Batista pitched, there would have been poetry.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s