There are plenty of gifts the Cardinals could have given manager Tony La Russa to honor his 5,000th managerial game in the majors. A win would have been perfect.

Instead, they got shut out for only the third time this season.

So maybe it was fitting that the Cards lost 8-0 TLR’s night. La Russa is not exactly a fan favorite anyway, so this gave those whose favorite hobby is bitching about him plenty of ammunition. Adding to it, the Cards fans favorite targets of wrath got their share of screw-ups into this game too.

Perhaps it was the appropriate way to honor La Russa after all.

No stars of the game last night. Instead, let’s recognize the fan favorite whipping boys for their roles in Game 5,000.

Kyle Lohse: Everyone doubted him going into spring training, many still bashed him going into the season, and he quieted the critics with his surprisingly effective pitching thus far. Instead, last night he not effective, giving up four earned runs, five hits and walking three in five innings. Guaranteed Loss Night, anyone?

Tyler Greene: Called out on strikes to end the second inning after Yadi doubled for the Cards only extra-base hit of the night.

Ryan Theriot: Did single in the third, to increase his new hitting streak to two games, but remember — you have to get on base before a TOOTBLAN can take place. And that’s exactly what happened, as The Riot was thrown out at second (or, as Ricky Horton kindly put it, “pick-off victim”) rather easily. In the field, no official errors, but does that ever matter to the Brendan Ryan Brigade?

Colby Rasmus: Stood by and watched as Jon Jay tried to field a ball Craig Counsell hit off the right field wall in the third. Thanks to Colby’s inaction and not backing up Jay, Counsell ended up at third and soon after scored the first run. While Cards fans on Twitter blew up at this play, so did Al Hrabosky on Fox Sports Midwest.

Ryan Franklin: Thankfully, Franky rewarded all the angst that greets his every appearance. All those recent effective innings? Who cares? Look, he really does suck! He entered the game and promptly gave up a homer to Corey Hart, then gave up two more hits and another run that inning too.

It’s a pity The Poet didn’t pitch too — that really would have been the cherry on top of this sundae of suck, wouldn’t it? And Brian Tallet once again gave up two earned runs, like he seems to do every other time he pitches, but so far he’s mostly avoided this whipping boy team. Or I’m just not paying close enough attention.

Yadi did make it a real 2011 Cardinal game by grounding into a double play in the seventh. Yay! That was No. 77!

Maybe that kettle corn concession fire that spread a haze over the playing field was a sign: we didn’t want to see what was, or wasn’t, happening on the field anyway.



Christine Coleman is the senior St. Louis Cardinals reporter for Aaron Miles’ Fastball. Follow her on Twitter, @CColeman802, or email aaronmilesfastball@gmail.com. Also follow @AMilesFastball for the latest updates.